Just typing

Not much going on around here. My dad is coming in for a visit at the end of the week. DH promised me we'd get the extra bedrom cleared out the next two days since he doesn't have to work and we don't celebrate Christmas anyways. We'll see how that goes. We have way too much stuff and not enough house. I've been telling DH that but he had to see for himself that even after my trunkloads of stuff I donated before moving, we still have a whole room full of boxes that we can't/don't unpack. It's rediculous. And it's not like we have anywhere to store it all. I think we should just take all the unpacked boxes (not including kid clothes) and just donate/freecycle them. He wants to go through every box even though we'll never agree on what to keep and what to get rid of. And then he wants to hold on to everything we don't want so we can yard-sale next year. HELLO!!! We dont have room to store stuff, hence the going through, what are we supposed to do with it between now and then? And then he goes into his "We won't live in a trailer forever, then we'll have room for this stuff" speech. Okay, that does nothing to help me now. NOW we live in a trailer with no storage. NOW we don't need this junk. NOW we need to get rid of it! But he won't let me and I'm stuck trying to figure out where to cram it all. I knew I should have gotten rid of more before moving. He never would have even realized it was gone. *sigh*

On to better things...We got Asher's school stuff in the mail and I am so excited. We're using My Father's World and it looks like so much fun. We're debating on when to start though. At first I was thinking of starting in January, but right now without a car we don't have access to a library, and you really kind of need on to get the full use out of hte curriculum. And then even though it says you can start it any time of hte year, it's still a little based on starting in the fall. For example, in week 4 (I think) it has you collecting leaves and doing different activities with them. Um...that would be pretty hard this time of year. And it will be so much easier if I can jsut use the curriculum as written and not have to find substitute activities b/c the seasons aren't quite right. And then there's the fact that Asher is currently opposed to all things letters. Probably my fault, though it's partly his personality too. He doesn't like to do anything until he knows he can do it and do it well. He's always been that way. He doesn't know how to read yet, so he doesn't like reading, which makes practicing and learning how like pulling teeth. I've been pushing him, with DH's agreement that this is what it will take, but I think a good long break will do him good. The curriculum goes back to "S says 'ssss' " which he's way beyond, but it might be good for him to get lots of practice in somethign he really knows how to do. Give him the confidence to go the next step. But he also says that he'll want to do letters when we start his new school stuff, so maybe he does just need something new and that will be good enough with no break needed. There's also Canaan to think about. I think in fall he'll be more ready to participate some and maybe even pick up a few letters. Not that that matters too much, since he'll do the curriculum himself in two years. And if we wait until fall that gives me lots and lots time to get prepared. The reasons for starting in January in pretty compelling too though. Asher wants to, and you can't say enough about child enthusiasm. We don't really have a lot to do between now and fall except the same old hodgepodge that we're both bored of. If I start in January that gives me lots of practice in keeping attendance and the other records that I'll have to start keeping in the fall since we have to officially register as a homeschool for the 08/09 school year. So what to do? Right now I'm thinking we'll put it off at least until we get a car and have access to a library. That's really kind of important. Once we have some transportation I'll rethink the other reasons and see how valid they are at that point. Sound like a plan? I think so.

Well, it's getting late and I should be heading towards bed. Gotta get a good bit of sleep in before the alarm goes off at 6am ;)

Well shoot, might as well babble for a bit longer, I've gotta reconnect before I can post. Oh, there it goes...still gonna copy this just in case...

la-di-da

Gah!! I'm so tired of my internet connection. First it's dial-up which is crappy anyways, even with the accelerator, but then I keep getting disconnected! I've called my ISP a million times and they keep giving me different settings to change, though it seems like none of the ppl really have any idea what they are doing, but nothing changes. So today the guy tells me, after changing another setting "well, that's just about all we can do. If it still keeps disconnecting we can't help you" Gee, thanks. It does seem to be a little bit better, instead of getting disconnected every 5 minutes I'm only getting disconnected every 15, but it's still very annoying! Yesterday we discovered that the box outside where the phone line comes in is on the ground, wide open covered in weeds. I'm amazed the phone even works, so I'm thinking (hoping!) that may be the cause of the disconnects. We'll see on Wed when they send someone out to fix it.

This has been a big week for us. On Sat we had a joint birthday party for all 3 kids. Tomorrow my baby will be one year old. Just over a week ago, my little boy turned 3, and before the week is out, my first born will be 5!! How did they all grow up so fast? Asher seems so very 5 to me lately and it's so wonderful to watch him grow up and really get to know him as a person, but sometimes I just want all my babies back! Starting tomorrow, I will no longer have a baby anymore! Just a toddler, a preschooler and a Kindergartener. I don't how that happened.

Speaking of Kindergarten, we're getting ready to order ASher's homeschool stuff and I'm so excited!! Thus far I've jsut been using a hodge-podge of stuff we've been given so this will be my first school order. I think we'll start sometime after the new year. I'm so glad we've waited though and didn't start it in the fall like I first wanted to. He's matured so much since then and I'm sure he'll get more out of now then he would have then. And he's getting so good at reading. He's even started to sound words out in his head, so he can just tell me what they are. Amazing.

I had more I wanted to type up, but I can't really remember it now and I've got a baby crying at me wanting to nurse, again. Such is life as a Mommy!

We're a family again!!

Well, I'm here and we're getting settled in at our own place. WE had to stay with DH's grandma for a bit, but it all worked out in the end. I dont' know how often I"ll be blogging, my connection is not the best, and it's dial-up at that and I won't be getting on as often since I have a DH to spend time with now, and a DH who also hogs my comp! But things are going good. We're supposed to be getting him a new wedding ring this Thursday, since his got "lost" somewhere. We're also getting birthday presents for the kids since we're having thier joint party next saturday. I can't beleive in less than 2 wks I"ll have a one year old, a three year old and a five year old. It's amazing how time flies. And hopefully this time next year we'll either have or almost have a new little one! It's so exciting to think about being pg again. I can't wait to get that positive test, though I know it will happen in God's timing.

Well, I need to get off here and go watch a movie with DH, I'll try to keep you all updated!

One Week!!

Only ONE WEEK until we move!!! Can you tell I'm excited? I can't beleive it's really coming. I will actually be living with my husband again!!

I've got my plan for the next week worked out. Getting all the last minute stuff packed up and cleaning and all that. I hope this week just flies by.

I'm not sure when I'll have internet access. We may have to stay with DH's grandma for a while. The people who are currently living in our house don't seem to be moving out like they're supposed to! So we'll have to see how that goes. My MIL will be just up the street though and they have internet access, so I'll be sure to update as I can. And then once we actually move into our house we'll have to get everythign set up, but DH assures me I will at least have accelerated dial-up. He knows my internet is my adult interaction ;)

9 days

9 days until I move!! I dont' think I've ever been this excited to move before. Well, maybe after we were first married and we moved to Springfield so I could go to school. But that's one move in 7? 8? and that's been a while. So it's about time I looked forward to a move :) The closer it gets the more nervous I get. All the doubts, what-ifs, and worries. I know a lot of that is Satan whispering in my ear, but he sure is hard to ignore. I know I'm doing what God wants me to do though, and regardless of how this all turns out, I'll always know it's the right decision. So, in 9 days I'm moving. In 9 days, I'll REALLY be married again. In 9 days, I won't be sleeping alone anymore. In 9 days, my kids will have their father again. In 9 days, we will be a family. In 9 days, a new beginning starts.

Look-Alike Meter

My new bed

Funny thing happened once I got my new bed here (I mentioned it a few days ago). I realized that what we had thought was a king size mattress turned out to be a California King! DH had always said he wanted a Cali king b/c they're bigger, but I learned a couple weeks ago that though they are 2 inches longer in length, they are 4 inches shorter in width. I decided then and there that the extra length was not worth the reduced width so we would stick with a regular king. So imagine my surprise when I put the new mattress on top of the old (I don't have a box spring or frame and right now no way to get rid of the old mattress) and discovered that the new mattress is 2 inches shorter on length but 4 inches wider! And now we know why none of our king size sheets ever seemed to fit right.

Yay Genesis!!

Genesis picked a new skill the last few days. She's slidding off the couch feet first, instead of just lunging off head first! For months now, whenever she's with me on the couch when I go to put her down I've been turning her around and slidding her off, so I guess I've been "teaching" her how for a while. but I was still amazed when she did it all her own! Now if only she would learn not to sit backwards right on the edge!

Apparently I give my son tobacco!

DH was talking to Asher yesterday about working on a farm. DH used to help with tobacco farming when he was younger and was telling Asher about it. Asher responded with "I don't like tobacco (yay for Asher, but hey, we've never talked about the dangers of tobacco....). When Mommy puts it on my tongue, I spit it out (what? I don't give him tobacco?). I like vinager though!" And then I had an AH HA! I'd been spraying vinager in his mouth for excessive whining, and two days ago instead of spitting it out he swallowed it and asked for more, b/c now he likes vinager, so we switched to TABASCO. So I had to explain the differance between tobacco and tabasco, lol. I can just see him telling strangers that he doesn't like it when Mommy puts tobacco in his mouth!

Beds and Moving

I'm so excited! I got great deals today on new beds for me and the kids. Well, new to use. Right now I have a King size mattress that sits on the floor and it is completely falling apart. You can literally get INSIDE the mattress, I know b/c my boys have done it. And Canaan is sleeping on a crib mattress that we slid under Asher's bed every morning and pull out every night. We don't have another bed, or the room for another bed. So lately I've been cruising local Craig's lists and today I came across a King size mattress in good condition for $50. I offered $35 and he countered with $40, so I took it. I also found wooden bunk beds with mattresses for $100 and I offered $75. I sent both offers at the same time, really not expecting to get either of them, and definatly not expecting both, but the lady with the bunk beds called me and said they'd take $75. So we all have "new" beds now. I'm have a bit of a panic attack now about spending the money, but DH says absolutly do not worry about it and to get the beds. They are desperatly needed and money is actually goign to be even tighter later on. So now is probably best. I think since we're moving in less than 3 wks we'll just put the bunk beds in storage, it seems kind of pointless to set them up just to take them down again. Plus it will add something else new and exciting to the move. Put I think I'll probably take my mattress now, thank you very much, lol.

Also, a little update on the moving. My mom's boyfriend decided a moving company was going to cost too much, but I'm hoping he'll pay for the u-haul. And now I'm hoping even more so since I just spent $115 of our moving money. Sigh. And we need somebody to drive the u-haul, or even just drive the kids while I drive the u-hual but I would really rather now drive a 24' truck. I'd probably run over somebody. But I'm sure we'll get it all worked out and we'll be there soon enough.

I've been getting some good packing done. Actually packed 4 boxes today. woohoo! It may not seem like a lot, but really, I've been packing for months, so there's only odds and ends and stuff we use left to pack basically. Is it weird that I'm actually glad we won't have a moving company? It actually was seeming to me like it would be more of a hassle. I was goign to have to pack all the clothes (instead of just moving the dressers while full), find out how to fit everything we'd need for a week or more in a car of unknown size to get us by until they deliverd the truck, I was worried about how to pack bigger stuff that doesn't really fit in boxes, but that I didn't think a moving company would want just floating around (I have no problem just throwing in the back of the truck, lol), what I was goign to do with the kids while they loaded up the truck, ok, so I still have that problem, lol. But really, I'm relieved that we're just renting a u-haul.

Now I'm just biding my time and trying to get the last few details ironed out (like how to pay for the truck and who's going to drive it! Nothing big! lol)

We have a house!! again

DH put a deposit on a house today!! If all goes well we'll be able to move in in 3wks. We're working on getting all the moving details figured out. My mom's boyfriend might even spring for a moving company! How cool would that be? I'll try to keep you all updated as we get things ironed out.

Not much going on here

I know, I haven't been blogging much, this is usually what ends up happening, lol. I blog constantly for a while, then I don't blog as much, then hardly at all, then I feel like there's too much to update...etc etc

Anyways. So not much going on around here. Still waiting for a house, as always, it seems. Money situation not getting any better, in fact, slightly worse b/c they started garnishing DH's paychecks for child support for his daughter in CO. They also served him with papers for child-support for our kids, since I"m on state-aid and he's not in the house. He can request a hearing, so he's hoping to do that and then just keep pushing things off until the kids and I can get there and then say "oh oops, nevermind" We'll be in big big trouble if they start garnishing his paychecks for our kids. It woulnd't matter if they would actually give me the money, but they won't, they'll use to cover our state aid. So yeah, it would not be good at all.

Let's see, what else is there to say? Oh! Asher is reading! He can read 3 letter words now. I'm so excited, I actually taught him how to read! It's been slow, but I knew he could do it! And in the process, Canaan has been picking up some letters and knows what some of them are. Cool! It's so truely amazing to be witnessing my children learning like this. I so look forward to the coming years of homeschooling and all the great things I'll be teaching my children.

Canaan has had a potty regression, so he was back in diapers for a while. I've got him running around naked again and he's averaging about one accident a day, so I'm debating on just continueing naked time or doing diapers again for longer. I guess I"ll see how things go in the coming days. He's also started drawing people, which is exciting. He draws a circle (which he will only classify as the person he's drawing), then gives it arms, draws another circle in the middle of it, for the belly button, then legs. Sometimes they have hair, sometimes eyes or mouths, sometimes not, lol. But they definatly people.

Genesis is getting so big. She's pulling up and cruising around furniture. Loves to play with her big brothers. Is starting to eat more real food, though she still drops more than she gets in her mouth, and spits out more than she swallows, lol. She's a great baby, though she's starting to get a bit of seperation and stranger anxiety. I need to get to KY fast b/c I don't have enough hands for two clingy children! (Canaan is still very weary of strangers)

I think that should about catch you all up :)

No House Afterall :(

My mom has decided not to let us use her car once we move to be with DH (a completely acceptable choice), but when I told DH he decided that we wouldn't take the house he had for us then. It's a bit out of the way and would not be convenient without a vehicle, and there's no way we would be able to buy even a junk car anytime soon. DH has been having second thoughts about the house anyways, starting to think it was too much work and he wouldn't be able to get it done, so this was the final thing that made him decide it just wasn't the right one. I'm actually really ok with this, as I was never really comfortable with it either. But now we're back to square one with no house to move to and no timeline of moving. :( I know it will happen in God's time though. There is somethign better for us out there. I was really worried how DS was goign to take the news, but he was actually EXCITED b/c the house wasn't in town and he really wanted to be in town with his Great Gramma, Grannie, Aunt and cousins. So, we need prayers again about finding a house and now for finding a vehicle!

He's starting to Read!

I've been tryign to figure out how to teach the 4yo how to read. He knows all his consanant and short vowel sounds and just hasn't been able to blend them together. I had heard a lot about blend ladders, where you go ba, be, bi, bo, bu, da, de, di, do, du, etc etc but he wasn't able to do that either and got very frustrated so I stopped doing anythign with reading altogether. Well, a few days ago I got the brilliant idea that *I* could go through the blend ladders and just have him watch/listen. The first day we did the Bs. He listened but that was about it. The next day we did Ds and he was starting to do them on his own by the du. And today we did the Fs and he was doing it himself! He has been helping me turn the sounds into words, like ba:bat, be:bed, bi:big, etc and then I would finish writing the word he had made next to the blend. But today when we were done with the F ladder, I wrote "Fox" and he read it to me, and then he read "Dad" and then "Bed"!! I'm actually teaching him how to read!! I am so excited. I just hope I can continue to not push him into doing things he's not ready to do.

A Trip to the Library

We went to the library today. Like we do almost every two weeks. Asher has been asking to do school from a book again, rather than my pathetic thrown together stuff so I pulled out Learning from Home for Preschoolers and Kers, which uses the library as a resource. Earlier this week I got online and found the books that were recommended (that our small library system actually has) and put them on hold, giving me about 23 holds. I also intended on looking once we got there to find some other related books, just for things to look over throughout the next two weeks. I had an inkling that the limit of books I could check out was 30, so I asked when we got there so I knew if I had to be counting books I pulled off the shelves. The librarian told me there was a limit of 30, but I could also get library cards for each of the 3 kids, so we would be alright. It turns out that when you first get the card you can only check out 3 books, so the librarian who checked us out (the first was nowhere to be seen) had to override the system so I could check out all the books I got. A minor annoyance, to be sure. I was VERY annoyed with the children's librarian however. This lady and I have gone 'round before. When I was pg I took the then 3yo and 1.5yo to storytime there. She wasn't goign to let my 1.5yo go in! I was supposed to send my 3yo into a door, with no windows, with a lady I don't even know? I don't think so! She finally "agreed" to let me and the toddler join the preschooler, but if my toddler caused too many distractions, we would have to leave. And she probably wonders why there was only one other kid there. Insert eye roll. So, back to today. I had a list of topics I wanted to get books on, and asked her to send me in the general direction. Afterall, she has been the Children's Librarian for many years, surely she can send me the right shelf. Nope. Instead she directs me the card catalog to look up the Dewey numbers b/c she couldn't even tell me where the right section was! She looked at me like I was insane for htinking she would know. Remind me in the future to just write down the numbers at home and not ask her for help anymore. I also asked her about VERY early readers, things with only 3 letter words, and she sent me to the 1st grade readers. Sigh. But on a highlight, Asher got his first library card today and he was so excited about signing his name on it. I had to convince him to let me put it in my purse so it wouldn't get lost and would be remembered our next trip!

We have a house!!

DH found us a house!! Well, ok, it's a 2bedroom, 1.5bath trailer, but it's at the right price and in a year we'll own it and only have to pay rent on the lot. The bad news is that DH can't even get into it until the 24th of this month and then it needs some repairs before the kids and I can move in. So we're looking at probably a good 6-7wks before we get to move there. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, and at the same time, sort of surprised at how NOT up they are. REally, 6wks is not long at all. I still have plenty to pack, but at the same time, it seems soooo far away. And anythign could happen between now and then. What if DH isn't able to make the repairs that he needs to make? What if he doesn't even get the house? A million things could wrong between now and then. But a million things could go right too.

What actually bothers me the most, is that I'll be here at the 1yr anniversary of DH leaving us. The thought is still so painful, and I didn't want to have to be alone still when that came around. Yes, we're technically together and just living in different places due to circumstances, but I'll still be here, by myself on that day. And it's goign to be hard. It's already hard. Pray that I get through this next month and half without too much emotional pain.

Baby Fever

My baby is almost 8 months old. That means my baby fever is kicking into high gear. It doesn't help any that on one of my boards we're having a ton of new preggies and new babies. Based on history, I have about 7 months until I get pg, 8 months til get my positive hpt. THat seems so far away but I know it will be here before I know it. Although it would probably be helpful to be at least living in the same state as DH, lol. And you never know, God might surprise us with a closer spacing this time.

Speaking of God and more babies. We were visiting an older relative today who claims to be Christian, but this will give you a good idea of her actual thoughts. My 4yo was talking about how he wants 4 more brothers and 4 more sisters so we'll have 11 kids. The relative knows we want a large family and I certainly didn't discourage DS from talking about our hopeful future big bunch (though I do usually say something about we'll take whatever size family God gives us). The relative said somethign along the lines of "I know you want a large family, but I just don't think you can afford them!" To which I responded "God will provide." She looked right at my 4yo and said "That's a myth. God doesn't provide anything." I was so shocked that someone would say that to my 4yo! I managed to just smile and say "that depends on your idea of providing." She is one of those ladies who has to have the best of the everything. With her big expensive car and country club membership. She can't possibly understand why I would stay home when I could be out earning money and thereby have a bigger house and nicer things. She actually told my DH not to move us to live with him unless I was "goign to get a job and help out!" Yes, b/c me not having a job is the source of all our problems (insert eye roll here).

But anyways, I got off on a tangent there. I am really starting ot crave having a baby in my belly again. I just love being pg so very much and all the excitment that goes with it. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby girl and am enjoying her to the fullest (well, as full as you can with a toddler and preschooler to chase around), but I'm ready to begin another new little life again.

So, who's calling the psych ward so they can come pick me up?

Packing

So for some reason I finally start feeling the need to really pack. There's really no reason to think we would move anytime soon, since we've been looking to move for months, but I still feel this need to start packing. Maybe it's God speaking to me. I'll probably only do a box or two a day, and of course not do the essentials. But the kids can live with only a small box of toys and a couple of books. I certainly don't need all the mess in my room. I just did a good two week grocery shopping, but I think for hte next menu I'll make sure to use what's in my freezer and cabinets. I need to go through the closets again too. And somehow, my sewing desk drawers are full again, even though I completely emptied them about 9 months ago. What gives? All else fails, it'll be nice to have less to clean, though it will look pretty bare around here with the book shelves and drawers all half empty!

The Weirdest Thing

I saw a freaky looking cat yesterday. One eye was a perfectly normal cat eye, but the other one was just freaky. It was bright blue, a lot like my oldest's eyes, and it's pupil was round, like a human eye. Everything else about the eye seemed alright, it was focusing fine, wasn't hazy or anything, just looked like a bright blue human eye. It was freaky.

Summer colds

I hate summer colds. We have our second in 3 weeks. Sick kids plus sick mommy is not a nice picture. I just want to go bed and stay there, the kids want somebody to love on them and make them feel better, plus they need to eat, the house needs tending to, laundry needs doing the baby needs holding and rocking and nursing. And I just want to go to bed.

I've been tagged

I was tagged by Lily, so here I go:

4 jobs I've had: seriously? I've only worked at 3 places outside of the home, so...

1. Waitressing at Country Kitchen
2. Waitressing at a local steakhouse
3. a "stuffer" for a newspaper, I helped put all those flyers in the paper
4. SAHM

4 movies I could watch over and over

1. A Knight's Tale
2. Moulin Rouge
3. What a Girl Wants
4. The 5th Element

4 places I've lived: Another toughy, I've lived in many different houses the last 7 years, but only a few different towns

1.Lansing, MI
2. Springfield, MO
3. Republic, MO
4. my current residence ;)

4 TV shows I watch: uuhh....I only have two. I don't watch much tv

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Men in Trees, b/c it's been coming on right after GA and I got sucked in somehow
3.
4.

4 places I've been on vacation We've never taken a vacation, except before we were married we spent a week with DH's family then a week with mine, but that's about it. A camping trip once or twice. Mainly just visit family and friends.

1. Michigan
2. Kentucky
3. Went to Colorado once, but it was hardly a vacation
4. We used to have what I affectionaly call "a vacation trailer park" where we used to go all the time in the summer when I was little. I miss it there.

4 of my favorite foods

1. Ice cream
2. Jello No-bake cheesecake with cherry topping
3. Filet Mignon
4. Cherry pie

4 websites I visit

1. MOMYS.com
2. MySpace.com
3. Facebook.com
4. mfwbooks.com (well, their forums anyways)

I would tag some people, except I don't have 4 people to tag, lol. I think Lily and Natural Mama are the only people who even read this, lol.

DH is going to live with us!!

The plan since March has been that the kids and I would move to be near DH, but NOT live with him. After a while he was talking about us living together in the future. On our anniversary he said "WHEN we live together, not if, WHEN." Then tonight he told me he's going to live with us as soon as we move there. He said "it would be stupid not to." He misses us, he misses sleeping next to me, he misses me taking care of him, he misses waking up to me, he misses waking up to our kids and being there for every part of their lives. So he's going to live with us. No promises yet, but this is still a HUGE step for him.

I'm so excited. And nervous. Now I don't have any time to get used to him, I'm going to have to be on full submissive wife duty 24/7 right from the start. That's a tall order. But it will be soooo worth it.

Keep praying for a house for us to rent. Oh, and I asked my mom tonight if we could "lease" her car when I move. I've been driving her car since DH left, and DH doesn't even have a license, so we'll be in a bit of a pickle if we don't have a vehicle. She said she would have to think about it. We're willing to pay for her insurance and a little bit extra, which is more than I'm paying now for full use. So, please pray for that or other transportation accommodations.

My Husband and His Pack-rat Tendencies

I was recently given an almost brand new, nice set of kitchen knives. It includes 6 steak knives, a parer, Utility, slicer, break, butcher and some name I can't remember and am too lazy to go look up. Anyways, these are nice knives, all in a pretty block and everything. I previously owned *2* incomplete knife sets, that were really a miss match of ones lost and replaced over the years. I was about to just toss the other 2 sets, but vaguely recalled there was a reason we kept one set around, even though I hated them, but thought maybe it was just b/c DH hated the other set. So I mentioned it to DH and he informed me that the one set I hate used to be his dad's (though I think there's probably only one or two left that actually belonged to his dad) so I had to keep those. So I asked if I could get rid of the other set, to which he replied "no, keep them too. You can get rid of them here." Um...so I have to move them just so we can get rid of them there? I dont' think so. This is not the first time we've had this conversation. Whenever he hears I'm donating things just to get them out of the house he tells me to keep them and then we can have a garage sale when I get there. I am NOT moving boxes upon boxes 500 miles just to sell them in a garage sale!

Then last night we were talking about all the outside toys we have and I mentioned that I'm getting rid of a lot of them. They're not taken care of, the kids don't play with them and they make the outside look trashy since I don't have any place to properly store them. Included in my list was the tool bench, which is broken and my 4yo calls it his "other kitchen" b/c it has a sink (where are the roll eyes emots when you need them?), a couple of the trucks that are out there, DH's favorite big chair that is literally falling apart (which he finally said I could get rid of it), and one of the sandboxes. Yes, I said one of the sand boxes, we own two, a turtle one and a ladybug. I was debating on which one to keep, the bigger one or the one in better condition. So DH insisted I keep both. Sigh. He then informed me that I'm lucky he's not here b/c there is no way he'd let me get rid of so much stuff. He probably won't even notice everything I've gotten rid of when we move. Afterall, he never noticed when I went through and put junk in boxes, never to be seen again. (disclaimer: I always ask DH if I think he'll have a real objection to me getting rid of something, which is why I even brought that I was getting rid of outside toys)

Happy Anniversary to Us!!

Today is DH's and mine 7th wedding anniversary. I would much rather celebrate it together, but at least we're celebrating it as a still married couple. Lucky #7. I'm hoping this will be the year to turn things around.

The Lake

The kids and I had a really great, relaxing morning. We have access to a private "beach" at a nearby lake. It's actually my sister's in-law's place, they don't live there, but have a trailer (which I do not have a key to), a nice big pavalion with a kitchen attached (which I do have access to) and most importantly, it's lake front, with a nice 20 foot wide sandy beach. On either side of the beach are lots of trees and bushes that go into the water, but that's fine, b/c it limits the area the kids can go and I can more easily watch them by myself. My 4yo has been begging to go since like March or April but it's a little bit of a drive and I haven't had the gas money to feel comfortable going. THen DH also requested that I have at least one other adult with me "just in case." So my brother and SIL were goign to go with us, but they had a change of plans earlier this week, so DH gave his blessing for me to take the kids by myself. I just love it up there. The trailer/pavalion/beach are set in a large clearing in what feels like the middle a huge forest. Really I think there's lots of other clearings around, but they're all separeted by enough woods that you can't really see the next clearing over. It's just so peaceful there. The only sounds were the birds chirping and hte kids playing. The boys actually only spent about half an hour in the water, then they played in the sand for the next hour and a half, we had lunch, they ran around for another hour and then we headed home. I'm thinking next time I'll plan to be there longer, and pack accordingly. I only planned on being htere for a few hours, so I only had snacks and diapers for that long. What I would really like to do is get a tent and stay there for night or two, but I think with just me it would actually be a little exhausting. The trailer and pavalion are quite a ways away from the water, but I would still have to be on watch ALL THE TIME, while there, yk? I hope someday we can have a place like that all our own.

Tattoos

So, continueing on with last night's theme, today I will be discussing tattoos. Right now, I don't have any. Not b/c I think there's anything wrong them perse, more of b/c I'm a big wuss, I hate needles and I was always afraid anythign I picked I would regret later. DH has several tattoos (including I new one I have yet to see that covers a large portion of his upper back). I think most tattoos can easily look trashy though, so whenever DH told me about other tats he wanted I would always say no way. Now I realize how sinful that was, and even how it was just wrong to try and change who he was. He does value my opinion though and when I told him think tats on the neck are really not at all attractive he said he definatly wouldn't get one there then. Several months ago he mentioned wanting us to get matching tattoos. Now first, I had to celebrate b/c you don't get a matching tattoo with somebody you don't want to be with, yk? Then he said he wanted it to be two scorpions, since we're both Scorpios. He had seen one in a movie that he liked, but then I found one that he liked even better. It's two scorpions, side by side, their tales make the top of a heart, with their claws making the bottom of the heart. He really likes that one, so maybe someday we'll get matching tattoos. I told him I defiantly a commitment from him BEFORE I get a tattoo for him. We'll both be getting them on our backs, though his will be larger than mine. I'm thinking, at most, the size of 2 playing cards, but even that's a bit big for my tastes. I haven't decided where on my back I would get it. At first I was thinking the small of my back, but now I think a little higher might be nice, like a few inches below my shoulder blades (and I think that might be where DH was wanting his). He also wants me to get a cross on the top of my thigh and a couple others, though he hasn't decided where or what yet.

I figure it like this, I have no moral objection to tattoos. So it's like any other adornment that doesn't violate my morals, I should try and please him. If he likes a certain style shirt on me (that's not immodest), I should try and make him happy and wear that style. If he likes it when I wear earrings, then I should wear earrings. If he wants me to have a few tats, then I should get a few tats. Now of course, I'm not going to go out and get some tattoo that I hate just to please him, I'm not stupid. But if we can agree on style and placement (which I'm very picky about) then I don't see anything wrong with it. I've actually always kinda wanted a tat but have always been too much of a chicken, so maybe this is just the push I need to actually be more of myself.

Body Piercings

At this time, I only my ears are pierced, although one ear has a second hole. I used to have my eyebrow pierced but took my ring out when my oldest was born by c-section, it got lost while changing rooms and I just never replaced it. Many times over the years I have considered replacing it, but always decided not to b/c "responsible Christian mothers don't have their eyebrows pierced." Through this whole mess with DH I've thought a lot about how I tried to make him fit into the "responsible Christian father" mold I had in my head which lead me to thinking about how I've fitted myself into a similiar mold. I've always been a bit of a rebel, so I sometimes feel like I'm not being myself when I so easily fit into the mold in my head. I WANT my eyebrow pierced again. And I know DH would love it, too. So what's stopping me you ask? Even though I no longer feel like I need to fit the mold in order to be a responsible Christian mother, I still feel like I should conform, for others' sakes. The Bible talks about not being a stumbling block to others and their faith, and I know if I have a mold in my head then so do other people. Sure my eyebrow ring could be used as a witnessing tool, but wouldn't it turn some people away? Are the ones I'd help worth the ones I'd hurt? Me, as myself, doesn't really care what other people think, but me as a Christian knows that what other's think is really a very important thing to think about, as long as it's not in a vain way. I also worry that people will think I"m a hippy. Cloth diapering, baby-wearing, skirt wearing, long-haired Momma could be a conservative Christian or hippy, add an eyebrow ring and I'll probably be thrown into the hippy pile. Can I really be an effective witness to Christ that way? I don't know, I"m still waiting for an answer on this one.

To be continued with thoughts about tattoos, probably sometime tomorrow as Grey's Anatomy is getting ready to start :)

9 things

9 Random Things Going on in My House

1. My 4yo spelled his first word today. He drew a picture of a house and wrote "Hos" on it. Then he wrote "rvof" on the roof. When I seemed confused about the r and v he erased the r and decided it was in fact pronounced "voof"

2. I spent almost 2 hours tonight looking at sites trying to figure out how I'm goign to teach said 4yo how to read. He knows all his letter sounds (consanants and short vowels) but can't figure out how to blend them together. While I'm finding lots of usefull phonics things, HOW to actually teach blending is not so obvious. I think I mainly have to wait for it to click, but will find fun ways to practice in the meantime

3. School supplies are on sale!! I was surprised to see them on sale already, it's only July after all, but still excited. I love this time of year. I need to stock up on notebooks, crayons, glue, markers, pencils, etc., etc., etc.

4. My pumpkin plants are flowering. We'll have actual pumpkins growing soon!! Unfortunatly when I tried to move them outside they wilted in the heat, so I guess I'll be growing pumpkins inside?

5. I've been up since 5am, it's now past 9pm (my normal bedtime) and I'm not really all that tired. Amazing.

6. I only have to come up with 3 more random things, this should be easy, right?

7. Perhaps I should give up and just stop at 7? Nah. I'm not a quitter!

8. Maybe I am getting tired after all. I'll probably head to bed shortly after posting this.

9. I made it to 9 random things. That wasn't so hard ;)

All right kids...

I made a new schedule a few weeks ago based on the kids waking time of 6am. At the time, I was lucky if they slept until 6, many times I made them either go back to bed or sit quietly on the couch until I finished "my time." So here it is, 7am, and for the manyith day in a row, the kids are still sleeping. Not the baby, but she doesn't really count :) I can only go so far in my day while they're sleeping, so I'm kinda stuck. I've got all my chores for the day done, it's a light day b/c we go to story time on Wed, and story time is the same time as my chore time. I would like to take a shower, but I can't until my 4yo wakes up b/c he "watches" the baby (I put her in the crib with some toys, if she starts fussing it's his job to make her happy and if he can't, he's supposed to come tell me so I don't dawdle in the shower. If I just leave her in the crib alone then she's likely to scream the whole time). So, can't shower and get dressed, can't get the kids dressed :) Can't do the kids' chores, can't do ds's school and I've already done my chores for the day. I suppose I could use this time wisely and do something extra but come on, I'm not THAT motivated. So I'm wasting away time on the comp, wondering if I need to change my schedule my around to accommodate a later kid sleeping time, but we all know as soon as I do that they'll start getting up early again :)

My Baby is Growing Up!!

She can get to sitting all on her own, and then continue to sit up unsupported.
She can do a real crawl (at least until she gets caught on her dress or wants to go faster, then she goes down to an army crawl, sigh).
She's starting to pull up, or at least try. On shorter things she can get to her feet. On taller things, like the couch, she can get to her knees, then smashes her nose when she tries to get to her feet, lol.
She has bumps on/under her gums where her teeth are starting to come in.
She can throw a temper tantrum as good as any two year old! (Usually directed towards her brothers who took a toy from her)
She's getting seperation anxiety and will cry if she sees me leave the room.
She gets excited about mealtime, though she usually only gets Cheerios.

Free Return Address Labels

Why do I always seem to get free return address right before a planned move? I spend months and months writing out my address by hand (b/c I'm too cheap to buy labels and too lazy to make my own, though I have the sticky paper to do it), and then right before we plan on moving I start getting free labels in the mail. What is the deal? Maybe it would help though if we actually lived at a place for a decent amount of time? With a max of about 1.5yrs at the same address I suppose it takes that long just to get our new address on all the lists, lol. I got some really cute labels from St. Jude's Children's Hospital last week. I'm thinking I"ll send them a few bucks just to say thanks :)

Messing with the layout

Don't mind me, just messing around with the layout. I kind of like how it is now, but wish the top pic were a bit smaller. Don't feel like taking the time to save it, change it, save it, upload it somewhere, etc etc though, so it'll probably stay the way it is. I actually did a search for free layouts, and found some other good ones, but for some reason when I copy and paste the code it doesn't want to work. With any of hte layouts, from any site. So I had to improvise by taking a header pic from a layout I liked and then just added it to basic blogger template that matched. It works for now until I feel up to messing around with it again.

Best txt Ever!

I got the best txt from DH today. A very simple: "I love you." It just doesn't get any better than that.

You got gum WHERE?!?!?

My 4yo got gum in his eyelashes today. His eyelashes!! Thankfully (or not) we know from experience that peanut butter works really well at getting gum out of hair. He was not exactly thrilled at having it smeared all over his eye lid though, lol. But it worked, and with minimal pulling I managed to get it all out. I can only imagine how it got there in the first place....

Murphy's Law of a Clean Floor

Nothing attracts spills and splatters like a freshly mopped floor.

Case in point: I mopped my kitchen floor this morning. It wasn't really very dirty, but it was kitchen cleaning day and your floor can't be too clean with a crawling baby. 3 hours later: 4yos decides to watercolor and manages to splatter all over the floor. 2 hours after that: not one, but two plates of spaghetti were dropped on same said floor. 1 hour after that: the floor got spot cleaned.

The Wash Line

I love hanging my laundry on the wash line. I started to do it for economical reasons, but now I do it for the pure joy. There's just something about standing out there in the sun, bare feet in the grass, baby strapped to my back, hanging laundry on the line. I feel connected to all of past womanhood. Women have been hanging their laundry for hundreds of years all across the globe, and I can have a part of that.

But I'm a freak and think it would be wonderful to get a plot of land somewhere and build a house of logs and start from nothing like in Little House, so it's really not surprising that I would enjoy hanging laundry. Plus I get some sun and a little color, which otherwise wouldn't happen :)

Celebrating the Sabbath

I've recently been convicted about celebrating the Sabbath. You know, a day of rest, on the 7th day of the week, Saturday. At first it was just a nice idea, then a good excuse to not do housework :) But as my conviction is strengthened in research I'm really trying to put it into practice now. Last week I concentrated on what NOT to do. I actually used my dishwasher, rather than washing dishes by hand. I didn't catch-up on cleaning I didn't finish during the week, I didn't spend the day goign through and purging baby clothes. So this week I've been thinking about what I SHOULD be doing. My first thought was "if I'm not cleanign, I'll have time to sew those diaper covers that dd needs!!" but it only took a second to realize that was actually work too. Of course I plan on spending some of that time with the Lord, doing Bible studies of things I never have time to research, things like that. And then it dawned on me, I need to spend that time with my children! Yes I'm with my kids all day everyday, but how much of my time do they really get? Little snippets here and there (which is somethign I've also been working on this week). So tomorrow, when we go outside, I will push them in the swings, and chase them around and play tag, and dig in the sandbox, instead of sitting in my chair on the porch. In the afternoon, instead of reading my own book or working on my cross-stitch, we will read ALL the books we borrowed from the library. When they take a bath, I will play in the water, instead of flipping through a magazine. It will be a day for my children and I to enjoy each other. For future Saturdays I have plans for the park (I hate the park), a trip to the lake, and any other fun thing I can think of. Maybe crafts, and baking. I will make Saturday about my children, and serve the Lord while doing so.

Writing Letters

Dh asked me start writing him letters again, which I'm torn about. I wrote him many many pages of letters after he first left and he never wrote me back. I finally stopped writing, for several reasons. First, I felt like I was having a conversation with myself. Second, it simply got too painful there for a while. I would think about him and write to him all day long, so I spent the whole day dwelling on everything that was going wrong. I wrote him the last 4 letters after he came to visit after the baby was born and he only ever read 2 of them. It took him over a month to read those 2, and he lost the other 2, the very last two, before even opening them. The last letter explained the final, and most important reason why I stopped writing. With each word I wrote I was trying to win him back. I was fighting my fight, and God had made it very clear to me that I was not to fight this fight but to let him do it. So I layed down my sword/pen and let God do the hard work. Every day got a little easier after that, when I focused on letting God change DH's heart and I focused only on being a better, Godlier wife, when I just enjoyed the friendship DH and I had rather than trying to make it more. And things started to get better, not just easier, and here we are today. So, anyways, DH asked me to start writing him again, though he never even asked why I stopped. So I wrote him a short letter, explaining to him why I stopped, and telling him I wasn't sure that I would be able to write again without trying to win my fight. I told him to feel free to write me, and I may answer, or I may not, but I would still like to know what's going through his head, as I don't feel like I've had a clear picture of that in years. I really don't feel like I have much to write anyways. He said he wants to know what's going through my head, but really, he already knows. I do have some new questions about where he's at now, but they will either be answered in due time or become obsolete, and some of them, I'm not sure I want the answer.

I think he's nervous about me moving there. I'm nervous too. He's afraid I'll try and move things too fast. I'm afraid of that too. I know where this will end up, God has promised me that we will be back together and receive an abundance of blessings when we get there. But I'm afraid of the unseen bumps in the road, the ditches that we may run into, the bridges that need to be built to span Grand Canyon size gullies. I pray this will go smooth and quickly and we will be together again in just a few months, but I'm preparing for more pain, more heartache, and more hard days ahead. Perhaps he'll write me and I will have a better idea of what to expect and know where he is. Perhaps he'll get my letter and decide not to. Either way, I must remember "The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace." Exodus 14:14. I need let God do the hard work of continuing to change his heart, while I do my work and change my own heart to be the perfect help-meet (with God's help of course).

A Good Day

The baby had a well-baby checkup today. She's growing good. Looks good and the Dr complimented me on how well she's doing (since she's never been sick and the Dr said her diaper area skin looks wonderful). I also had a nurse compliment me and told me that I "make motherhood look easy" Of course she didn't see my boys about throw each other off the exam bed or the obviously testing look my 4yo gave me when he ripped a page out of a magazine after I specifically told him not too, lol, but oh well. It's still nice to hear such things. I've actually been told I have an amazing amount of patience with them, which I sooooo don't feel, especially when the 2yo is being extra clingy and the 4yo seems to be constantly testing, then the baby just wants to get down and play in places where she obviously can't and gets rather angry about it. I had just such a day over the weekend. But today was actually pretty good, and once the 4yo was sure that I wasn't giving in he behaved very well.

God provides!!

Now that Dh has a good steady job he's been looking for a house for us to rent. So I got online to get quotes for a moving truck so we would have a better idea of how much we need and it's WAY more expensive then we were thinking. It was so discouraging to see that price come up and DH was discouraged when I told him. He tried to remain upbeat and said that he'd get it, it would just take longer. And then the next day he told me he had a plan, but wouldn't tell me what it was. I was seriously starting to consider just leaving all our furniture here and only taking our "stuff". One of those little trucks or a trailer would be much cheaper. So I've been praying for God to make a way for us to pay for the truck and asked my home-church to pray as well. Well, one of the ladies called me this morning and her and her dh want to pay for most of the moving truck!!! I am just so awed at how well God works. I cannot wait to tell DH. Now all we need is a house!!

Happy Father's Day!!

My poor DH is not having a good Father's Day. For one he's soooo sick. Just has a nasty summer cold, but they're the worst. I'm glad I'm not there to get it from him! And of course he doesn't have his kids with him on this day of celebrating fathers. That's kind of his own fault, but I still feel bad for him. He really is a great Daddy. He loves his kids and he wants what is best for them. Even when he wasn't sure if him and I would ever be together again, he wanted to do everythign he could to keep me at home taking care of them. And he really is an involved father. He loves to play with our kids. Loves to play with any kid really. I am so thankful to have him as my babies' Daddy. He's also having a bad day b/c the Father's Day cards we sent didn't get there in time :( The week kind of snuck up on me and before I knew it, it was Thursday. It usually only takes 2 days for mail to get from my house to his, but of course it takes longer when you're counting on it. I had the boys each make a card for him. I wrote on the 2yo's of course, but had the 4yo copy what I wrote on the other. Then I traced their hands on the inside of the card. Then they decorated them with stickers and markers. I also made him one from the baby and traced her hand on it. And I sent an 8x10 pic that had all the kids' pictures on it and said Happy Father's Day. And while I was going through boxes I came across the kids' cards to him from last year, so I sent them along as well. I think he'll like it. All he knows he's getting is cards from the boys, so hopefully he'll be nicely surprised. Ah well, my Mother's Day card, that I made him make me, was two days late, so we were joking that this is just his pay back :)

Ooh, speaking of DH. Last night (or was it the night before?) he was heading to bed, really sick and just wanted to go to sleep, but he called me first just to tell me he loved me :) When you've been through what we've been through there is nothign better than that. Praise the Lord for all the work He has done in my DH's heart.

Put the baby socks down!

Absurd: keeping more baby socks then your kids could ever wear

More Absurd: Keeping baby socks NONE of your kids have worn b/c they're feet have always been too big

Most Absurd:Keeping more baby girl socks then your baby could ever wear, that are too small for any of your previous babies' feet AND knowing that even if they did fit, a baby girl still wouldn't wear them b/c she's in tights and dresses all the time.

Have I mentioned my pack-rat tendencies?

Scholastic Rules

About two months ago I got an offer for 8 Dr. Suess books for something like $1.99, plus shipping, with NO COMMITMENT to buy anythign further. I think after shipping it cost me a little over $7. I meant to cancel after recievng the first shipment, but never got around to it, so today in the mail we got our second shipment. 2 more books for only $9.98, plus $3 something in shipping. Not bad since last time I bought a Dr. Suess book it was $9.98 for just one. Unfortunatly we already have one of the books and with money being tight right now I figured I'd return that one. So I called Scholastic and rather than return it, they gave me the option to donate it on their behalf to a non-profit organization and they took $7 off the bill!! So even with shipping, I'm paying less than retail for these classic children's books. I have a feelign they suckered me in and I won't be cancelling, at least not yet....

Walmart.com

I have started stalking Walmart.com. YOu'll never guess what for.....




Free samples. I love free samples. Doesn't everybody? Well, Walmart always offers free samples with no gimicks. They don't even send me spam-mail (unless my Spam gaurd is catching it?). And they constantly change what they offer. I checked it this morning and this afternoon and they had 2 new ones this afternoon. Need a link you say? No problem. http://walmart.triaddigital.com/Free-Samples.aspx?fromPageCatId=11

Join me in my free sample obsession.

Early Rising

I have become an early riser. Every morning, ok most mornings, I get up at, or shortly after, 5am. Insane you say? Just a month ago I agreed. I love sleep, I have always loved sleep. So getting up any earlier than necessary is not my idea of a good time. On one of my message boards they were discussing getting up before the kids to get some quiet time, some time with God, to get the day started on the right foot. I had lots of excuses why it wouldn't work for me. The kids are in bed with me half the time, they would wake up with the alarm. I'm up a couple times a night with the baby. Besides, I read my Bible every morning during bfast and get quiet time when I take a shower, I don't need more than that. Etc etc. Then a few weeks ago DH asked me to start calling him in the mornings to wake him up for work, at 4:30am my time. I didn't have a problem with that, I figured I would just roll over and go back to sleep. And so I did for a while. Then it occurred to me that DH was going to bed at the same time I was, literally. We would talk on the phone, hang up and then we both went to bed. So why couldn't I get up at the exact same time he did? The alarm excuse wasn't good any longer, I had been using the alarm on my cell phone and it didn't wake the kids at all. So I decided to give it a try. Fast forward a week and I was still getting up at 4:30. I had a few days were I went back to bed, but they were few. I wasn't really getting anything extra done around the house. I was so afraid of waking up the kids there were some days I didn't even turn on the lights! But I began to notice a difference in my days. I had been going through a rough spell, felling down and out and just beaten and alone, but after only 3 days of waking early the spell had almost completely lifted! The only thing I was doing in the morning was reading my Bible and praying, really praying to God. Not just the 10 minutes in the shower when the baby was sitting outside the tub fussing and I was worried about the boys were getting into, but real talking to God and praying for everything and everyone that I could think of. Shortly after that DH switched jobs and needed me to call him at 3:30am. I was NOT getting up that early and staying up. So I call DH at 3:30, then usually again at 3:50 b/c he requests a "snooze" and then I reset the alarm for 5am and go back to sleep. Most mornings I hit snooze once, but half the time I turn it off before it goes off again. I truely cherish my morning time now. So the moral of the story, regardless of how many excuses you have to not get up early and spend time with the Lord, regardless of how much you think you don't need it, just try it for a week or two, actually don't try, just DO IT for a week and two and see if it makes a difference. You may be surprised. I was.

Pumpkin plants

Last fall we bought a pie pumpkin, took it apart, roasted some seeds, cooked the fruit, mashed it and made pumpkin bread. It was a fun time. We don't celebrate Halloween so my kids would have no exposure to what the inside of a pumpkin is like otherwise. And every kid needs to squish their hands in pumpkin yuck, don't they? We also saved some seeds (not roasted) to use for counting and activities like that. So this spring rolled around and we were talking about planting gardens and how plants come from seeds and I got the bright idea to try and germinate some of our pumpkin seeds. I say try b/c quite honestly, I was skeptical. Can I really take a seed out of a pumpkin, let it dry up, count with it all winter and then 6 months later actually expect it to grow just b/c I put it in water? Turns out I can. So we germinated 2 pumpkin seeds and moved them to a small pot inside once they started sprouting. I was worried b/c they were growing much faster than I had anticipated. I was hoping to grow them inside for a while, them transfer them to big pots outside and hopefully take them when we move. But not at the rate they were growing. But the kids took care of that problem by breaking both plants :( So I thought we'd give it another shot (would you believe it worked the second time, too? Amazing). But now I was worried we wouldn't get any pumpkins b/c I thought it was too late and they wouldn't have time to ripen before it got too cold. I was telling a fellow (and more experienced) homeschooler my dilemma and she told me that I actually started the second set at just the right time. You're SUPPOSED to plant pumpkins later b/c they ripen in the cold. If they get too big before it gets cold then they jsut rot and never ripen. So now I'm really excited about our pumpkin plants again and hopefully the kids will see the whole plant cycle and we'll get to make pumpkin bread in the fall from our very own pumpkins grown from last year's seeds. The plants are just about too big for their little pot, so I need to get them moved. I'm trying to figure out if I should let the vines go over the edge of the pot unto the ground or if I should try and keep them in the pot. Anybody know? We hope to move in the next 3 weeks or sooner, but there's no tellign when it will actually be.

Icky icky icky

Pretty much since it got warm outside I've had a big ant problem. The problem isn't big, the ants are. Well, the problem is kind of big too. They're all over the kitchen, we kill them all day long, your typical ant problem. These ants creep me out though. For starters, they are really big ants. I've seen some that have to be 1/2 inch long. BIG ants. To add to the creep factor, they're carnivores. Seriously. If I have a cinnamon roll left out on the counter, it won't get touched, but if the tiniest piece of meat gets left on the counter they're all over it. Nasty. Meat eating ants. Won't touch sugar, or bread for that matter. But that's not the worst part. The worst part came today. I was getting out some aluminum foil, which was sitting on top of my microwave, when I noticed there were a bunch of crumbs and such in the box. No problem, figured stuff fell into, so I took it over to the trash can to dump the crumbs, when I noticed big ants coming out of the box. Lots of big ants. Then I took the tube out of the box. And it was full of big ant eggs and larvae and ants! Ick ick ick. I'm thankful I was standing over the trash can, because the whole thing quickly got dropped. It took me a few seconds to get myself straightened out enough to take the trash can outside. Then it took a few minutes before I could get up the courage to dump the trashcan into the big outside trash can. Ick ick ick. Big ants everywhere, scurrying around with their eggs. Ick. Thankfully tomorrow is trash pick up, otherwise I would trash piling up over my house b/c there is no way I'm opening that trash can again. Ick ick ick. I still feel all creepy crawly just thinking about it.

Decluttering and Purging

I've finally hit a point in my life where I'm ready to get rid of things. I'm genetically a packrat, but I'm just so tired of all this crap that we don't use and half of which I don't even like. For a couple years now I've been wanting to purge, but I'm just now (in the last year) actually able to do it. And I'm getting rid of lots. In the past 6 months or so I've probably donated 4 trunkloads worth of stuff and probably thrown away just as much. I started with the stuff that was readily available, toys the kids weren't playing with, clothes I wasn't wearing. And now I'm going through stuff in storage. It all needs reboxing for the eventual move anyways. So far I've brought home 4 trunkloads, and I only have one trunkload to take back. The rest is either in the trash or in other boxes to be donated. I'm also going through baby clothes. I've gotten hand-me-downs from lots of people, so my collection was huge. Literally, when my boys were babies, they could 2 months without wearing the same thing twice, not the same outfit, the same pair of jamas or even the same onesie! So I've started with the boy clothes (since the baby is still wearing the girl clothes), I put everythign into 3 piles: love it, it's okay, and hate it. The "hate its" obviously go into the donation box. The "love its" are kept and then I go through the "okays" again. I try to keep my number of outfits/jamas/onesies to 14, but of course, if there are more "loves" than that, then they all stay. If there are less then I pick out "okays" until I reach 14, though usually I end up with a few more than 14 b/c I still have packrat tendencies. But I'm getting rid of a lot either way. I've actually only gone through up to size 6 months (this is in jsut boy clothes mind you) and I've already donated a whole trunkload to Safe Passage, not to mention I still have 2 more boxes ready to go. So yeah, I have a LOT of baby clothes. I really hate having so much junk though that I don't need. It's more stuff to move (and since we've moved 6 times in the almost 7years we've been married, we move often), it's more stuff to keep track of, it's more baby clothes to wash and put away and switch out when they outgrow it. Oh, and remember that trunkload of stuff ready to go back to storage? Most of it is DH's stuff that he's told me I can't rid of. And actually, if it were up to him, I wouldn't have donated all that stuff so far, I would have kept it so we could garage sale it. I told him no way. I'm getting rid of stuff partly so I don't have to move it! I think living in basically 800sf has helped my purging efforts as well. In reality, we live in a 4 bedroom 1200sf house, but my mom has 2 of the bedrooms, so the kids and I only occupy about 800sf of it. Can't afford to have a lot of clutter around here, the house is full enough. And we came from a 2000sf house, so there's lots of stuff that we're not using. I don't mind the space (or lack thereof) though. It's less to clean. It's helped me purge. And, now I really don't care what size house DH gets for us. It's so freeing to not care about "stuff"!!

Bubbels

What is Bubbels you ask? It's this really addicting game that I was linked to a long time ago. I play it almost every day. Usually at least twice a day. It's what I'm doing when I probably should be blogging :) It's easy for me to do with one hand and since I normally have a baby nursing, that's pretty important. Anyways, it's lots of fun and worth checking out. But be prepared to be addicted. I warned you.

http://www.freeflashonlinegames.com/play-now/bubbels.html

Just randomness

So we had church today. Actually, we fellowship with a couple other families at our homes (well, not my home, but the rest of htem take turns hosting at their homes). I love it for so many reasons. I actually had a regular church I was going to, my mom would go with us, but when she got busy on weekends I couldn't go b/c I don't put the kids in Sunday School or the nursery or anything and handling all three by myself was not fun. So about the time my mom started not being able to make it I began worshipping with these families. It's so great b/c I can hand the baby to either another parent or one of hte teenagers so I can take care of the other kids. And if one of them is acting up, I know I'm not distracting anybody b/c they're all used to and have the same issues :) Also, the main families are all quiverful. One family has 8 kids (though 2 are doing missions right now so I haven't met them), one has 6 or 7 I think, and the other has 5, with the youngest being only 3 months. I love being around large families since I want one of my own. And of course, I love going b/c they're all like me. They have mostly a Church of Christ background, they wear skirts and the women have long hair and our overall just very Godly women to be around. I feel so much inspiration and fellowship when I'm with them. I will miss them greatly when we move to be with DH. I'm hopeful we'll be able to find a homechurch we like after we move, but it's so hard to find one, they don't exactly advertise, yk? I'm hoping to join a local homeschool group after we move and maybe somebody there can hook us up.

Sometimes it's hard though goign to worship. There's one thing that's really bittersweet. Recall the family of 5, with a 3 month old baby. The DH is only a little older than my DH and reminds me a lot of him personality wise. He's always got one of the boys in his lap (their younger 2 boys are the same age as mine), or he's holding the baby (a girl only a few months younger than mine) and it's just bittersweet to watch. I think of all the things htat DH is missing. He's missed half of our daughter's first year. He missed watching our 2yo learn to talk, he's missing our 4yo learn to read. He's been gone for 9 months. Do you know how much children age in 9 months? Our daughter is absolutly fascinated when she's around men. She just stares and stares. But what can I expect, she doesn't see them very often. I pray she gets to know DH before she hits any kind of stranger anxiety.

I"m sure I had more to post, but do you think I remember any of it now? Guess that will have to work.

Good things from DH

Lots of good news on DH. First off, he's got a great job, that pays well. It's a factory job, which I am praising the Lord about. His real passion in life is cooking, he loves to cook in restaraunts,but to be honest, most of his temptations are present in the restaraunt business. Our marriage was the most stable for the 3 years he worked in a factory. And restaraunt work really isn't family friendly. Usually no benefits, wacky schedules, no paid vacation, etc. So I'm happy that he's working in a factory. He really likes his job too. He's actually talking about keeping this job FOREVER. He had two friends that work there, one has been there 6 months, the other less than a year and they're both making almost 50% that DH has made in the last 2 years. I'm pysched.

Also, he's been helping this guy he lives with fix up the yard at their place and this morning he tells me "I'm getting a lot of ideas for when we have our house. Did I just say that outloud?" So I told him I understood what he meant, unless he's keeping secrets and planning on moving in with us right away, he responded "not right away."!! Yay. I love hearing those things.

And the night before last he was telling me how beautiful I am and in all the right places. He loves feet and hands and apperantly mine are quite pretty.

So anyways, lots of good things from DH, I'm so thankful that the Lord is blessing me in our relationship.

I love beign a mother

When you read that title, you should add some sarcasm. Ok, so not a lot of sarcasm. I really do love being a mother, but somedays....Well, I need a vacation. So why the extra need for a vacation today? My kids have this thing called "Coinstruction" or something like that. It's these little plastic pieces that you use to build things out of coins. It's a bit old for them, but they like to make people and small things like that and occasionally ask for me to make the big things pictured on the box. I really don't mind doing it, it's actually my kind of task, I get to build somethign but don't need any real creativity b/c I'm just copying off the box. So anyways, last time I built them a semi-truck and they played with it for about two minutes before completely destroying it (it took me somethign like an hour or more to make). Then when it came to be time to pick it up, they (well, mainly the 4yo) threw a big fit about how it was tooo big of a mess to clean up, etc etc and it took them forever to get it picked up. So that was over a month ago. It hasn't been brought out since b/c of that episode. Today they asked if they could play with it again, so I got it down and they wanted me to build them a house, so I did (another hour+ job) and it took them about 10 minutes to make it into itty bitty pieces. After a while it got to be close to dinner time so I told them they had to pick it up so we could get the table set. A big fit ensued, and they finally started slooooooowly picking it up. Half an hour later they had hardly made a dent in the mess (despite my being right on top of them about it), so I cooked my own dinner and ate it, while they continued picking up. Another half hour goes by with still only little progress. So I told them they had one hour to get it picked up, and after that it was going to be too late for them to have dinner, they would have to just take a bath and go to bed. They got moving quicker, for a little bit, then slowed back down. I gave them a few reminders, made them stay on the table rather than play, etc but the hour went by. So they got quick baths, with no playing, just got cleaned up and got out. I gave them a few slices of bread so they wouldn't starve and sent them to bed. That was at 6pm. This game will now be put up, in my closet for a very long time. So yes, it's not even 7 yet and my kids have been in bed for almost an hour. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Welcome!!

Welcome to my blog, well, actually my second blog. I used to blog under this name, then it became a chore and I was only ever updateing, then we didn't have internet for a while so nothing got posted, etc etc, and then my life fell apart and I needed a place to type so I turned it private (since no one was reading it anyways) and now I've been thinking that I should probably start blogging again, perhaps I could be an inspiration, or a Godly example to someone, you never know, so I was going to start a new blog, but wanted this url b/c it's MY username and I hate having to add a 1 or something stupid like that, and then I discovered I could change the url to my old private blog, so I did and then I made a new kugoi blog. How's that for a run-on sentance? So anyways, welcome to my new blog. Hopefully I'll get on here and actually post some interesting stuff every now and then, and just in case I don't, I won't tell anybody I actually have a blog until later :)

A little background on me. I've been married for almost 7 years, Ihave 3 kids, 2 boys and girl, am a sahm and doing my best to serve the Lord. My husband and I seperated almost 9 months ago, his choice, not mine, and he moved several states away. So we're working on working things out. He wants me and kids to move out there, he doesn't ever plan on living around here ever again. So as soon as he gets us a place to live, the kids and I will be packing up and moving. At first he doesn't plan on living with us, but it is his ultimate goal. You may get more details about that as this blog goes on, I don't really want to go into our whole relationship right now b/c it's a mess. But I believe that God has promised we will get back together and we have many many blessings in store afterwards. Without that promise, I would not have made it this far, of that I'm sure. It has not been an easy road, lots of heartbreak and loneliness. But God is good and it will all work out in the end.

Well, that's enough for now, I need to get going so I can watch National Bingo Night in 15 minutes. Have to finish my before bed list before then :) Hope to see you around!